The phone rings and I pick it up.
Hello...
Silence. I try again.
Hello...
Who's this?
Who is this?
Is this Lindsey's House.
Yes it is. Who is this?
I need help with my homework.
Who's this?
It's Jenny. I need help with my homework.
Do you want to talk to Lindsey.
Yes I need help with the homework.
Okay, let me get her.
This is a typical late afternoon scene at my house, and one that quite frankly drives me crazy. Mind you, these kids are 10 and 11 years old. What ever happened to the good old days of teaching our kids phone manners, a skill they will use for the rest of their lives. And let me tell you it is never too soon to start.
Kids love to pretend and role play, so when you start this little lesson make sure to unplug two phones from the wall to use as your props. Start by modeling the correct language on both sides of the conversation, and then let them take turns playing both parts of the conversation.
I was amazed at not only how excited my Girl Scout troop was to learn phone manners, but also at the lack of skills they had.
Hello...
This is the correct way to answer a phone. Not "what", not "who is it", not "This is Jonathan" - in fact giving out their name should be discouraged unless they know for sure who the caller is. A simple hello is proper.
May I please speak to Susie?
This is the appropriate way to request to speak to someone. Again, your kids should not respond to "Hello..." with "who is it?"
May I ask who's calling please?
This is the single most important part of the phone exchange. Your kids need to find out who is on the other end of the line before they give out any information. They will then have a basis on which to determine what information to give out.
This is Daniel.
Now what? If Susie is in fact home, it's simple. But what if someone calls for you and you aren't home? Instruct your child to tell the caller you are busy and can't come to the phone right now. This would be good time to broach the subject of what to say to strangers when they call and how much information they should give even to friends.
Remind your kids that they should NEVER give their name out to someone calling nor any other personal information, especially location. I always instruct my kids to tell the caller I'm busy and can't come to the phone right now.
Kids should also be reminded that everything happening at the time of the call is not necessarily for public consumption. "My mom is wiping my brother's poop" is not information that ever needs to be passed along to the unsuspecting caller.
When you and they feel confident, it's time to take what they have learned out into the real world. Practice by calling grandma or other relatives who will delight in receiving their call. Make them their own little phone book to encourage them to use new found phone skills.
But even when you feel they are proficient at making calls, this is not the time to hand over the reins to the telephone just yet. They will need some stand-by coaching for a while, especially in terms of knowing when is an appropriate time to make and accept calls.
In a word, phone use needs to be monitored. Dinner time is never a good time to make or receive calls, and in general my kids aren't allowed to make calls after 7:30, when they and their friends are in theory getting ready for bed and winding down their day.
My children are instructed not to call their friends on their parents' cell phones, nor am I thrilled to hear their friends' voices on the other end of mine. If we aren't home, we aren't available to help you with your Gameboy, X-Box or Playstation querries...Period.
It's never to early to start teaching this important skill to your children, and in fact you can start as soon as they start making calls on their toy phones to their dolls. Phone skills are something they will use for the rest of their lives. They may not thank you for this new learned lessson, but I'm sure other parents will.
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